Category Archives: Pervs/Psychos/Crazies

UES Ladies Lingerie Jogger Guy Revealed

eliot2.jpg Our attempt to track down some info on UES Ladies Lingerie Jogger Guy proved to be easier than expected, thanks to the fact that just about everyone in the neighborhood has seen him and he’s apparently been at it for years. Thanks to everyone who hit the comments section here, and thanks to Curbed for spotlighting our quest for further info — they have a bunch of good comments as well.

Everyone who spoke up seems to agree that the gent is ‘Elegant’ Elliot Offen, (picture here via Cracked.com) a sometimes Howard Stern guest who lives in Forest Hills but visits Manhattan to do his exhibitionist jogging. His MySpace page is here. What does he look like while doing his ‘jogging’? One Curbed commenter described Offen’s get-up like this:

He looks like Abby Hoffman at his hairiest, with face scruff and longish curly dark hair, and every time I saw him he was wearing an underwire cup, bone-corseted thong in a circus acrobat magenta with fishnets. It’s truly breathtaking, or beer-spitting if you happen to be sitting at Doc Watson’s when he goes by.

Anyone have any idea when he’s going to hit the streets again?

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Filed under 2nd, Pervs/Psychos/Crazies

Fox News At 86th Street Subway

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Fox News reporter Lisa Cabrera (?) or Linda Schmidt (?) or maybe Andrea Day (?) — someone with a Fox News microphone and a guy holding a Fox News camera showed up at the 86th street subway Tuesday night to interview people.

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I briefly overheard the interview and the above gent was talking about “crowd surfing” or “rail surfing” or something like that. I wish I had more, but I was completely distracted and fully pursuing a guy who was perfect for the “Pervs/Psychos/Crazies” category on 78th and 2nd.

Yes, this guy i was trying to catch up with had:
1) Blood on his pants
2) Talked to the palm of his hand on the subway as if it was a live person
3) Laughed hysterically at nothing
4) Had multiple open wounds and scabs that he was picking which led to #1..

But best of all, he kept howling like Chewbacca — big, full howls that left you a little shaken — and he was completely worthy of a full post, but i’m sad to say i came up short and couldn’t get a decent shot.  But this will give you an idea.

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Filed under 86th, Pervs/Psychos/Crazies

Pervy Guy On 6 Train Itches Balls….Slowly

Hey, thanks guy, for that 28 minute display I witnessed on the way to work today.  Listen – if you need to do that, do the right thing do it quickly and do it in the most private way possible. No one likes a show-off. Or a pervy ball itcher.

 

It’s like being naked at the gym.  Don’t spend a lot of time prancing around the locker room, putting on a nude display, showing everyone you’ve got skin and you’re proud of it.  Get undressed, get to the shower quickly, get your ass back to your locker and get your clothes on.

 

No one needs to see a ball itching marathon.  It’s not polite.  Not pleasant.  And no one especially needs to see a bald, mid-forties guy wearing a Member’s Only jacket touching himself gently and persisitently. Didn’t your mom ever tell you not to fiddle with yourself on the 6 train. 

 

I just spit up a little vomit thinking about him.  I want to sue.  Fucking perv.

 

You and you alone, pervy ball itching guy, have forced me to erase the “psycho/crazies” categorory I intended to make on this site, and expand it to “pervs/psychos/crazies” – congratulations!  You’re my first post!

 

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Filed under Pervs/Psychos/Crazies, Subway