If Only There Were A Social Networking Site To Connect Republicans With Women Who Liked…

LateNightShots, according to their website, is a “closed social network which allows you to explore Washington DC’s social landscape and bar scene.”  The “closed social network” part sounds like a crappy bar, with a dick bouncer.  But this “exploring DC’s social landscape” part sounds interesting, maybe we could sneak in and make some new friends, right? 

Well, then there’s this, which is part of a scathing cover story in the Washington City Paper on the closed social networking site: [the site is for] “UNC grads who work hard to maintain that special mix of date rape, shitty beer, and racial homogeneity that is the Georgetown nightlife.” Date rape types, shitty beer, racial homogeneity — I live on the Upper East Side, so I’m not exactly sure what you’re talking about, but go on and make a point that makes sense to me.

Here’s part of the Washington City Paper story, which opens with a sit-down with three members of the site:

The three guys sitting at the bar at Town Hall in Georgetown swear it’s a true story: A friend of theirs called a buddy in the middle of a sexual conquest, placing his cell phone out of view. When the voice mail picked up, it recorded him asking his lady, “You like that Republican cock?”

The guys are wearing golf shirts and drinking Miller Lites. They’ve been telling raunchy tales about what happens after dark in Georgetown, playing toward expectations. They know I’m a reporter on assignment. At first, the sordid tales of preppy hookups just make me laugh.

Then the bearded one in the middle busts out with this: “Do you like anal sex?” I squint. I’m confused. “Do you do anal?” he repeats, head bobbing with excitement. The litany continues. Do I want to take it in the ass? Have I ever taken it in the ass? My silence is taken as an affirmative and he announces that this interview will go no further unless he receives a hand job. I retreat into a hole carved out during similar sessions in high school and head for the door.

Republican cock, anal on the first meeting, no ones leaves until a hand job is given — I know what you’re thinking — it sounds classy, but why should i care? Online reports go on to say the site is expanding to three markets, and by one account, the markets are suspected to be: Charlotte, Atlanta and…wait for it…yeah, New York.

Tech blog TechCrunch believes the site is more than an online hangout for rich, white, Republicans:

There has been some coverage of the site elsewhere that suggested it was nothing more than an exclusive Republican white boy hangout space (or words to that affect). I couldn’t see it. Whilst there may be members with a strong political bent it’s not immediately evident in the member areas. There is a richness of member submitted content, reviews and discussion that would suggest an appeal to a much broader church, the only limitation being that you live in Washington DC, enjoy going out at night and are impartial to the occasional alcoholic beverage.

And DC political blog Wonkette has been running a regular item on LateNightShots, complete with a mole reporting from within the group this item, which was reposted by an intern into a forum (thanks Glanton). The date with a LNSer went well until this:

We start a movie and after 10 minutes he starts kissing me. Again, pretty awesome. BUT he starts getting into it more quickly than foreplay normally progresses. The kiss quickly gets uncomfortable as he starts grinding on my leg. Keep in mind I am still sitting up at this point, so he’s side humping me. I begin to pull away and he burries his head in my shoulder and starts aggressively humping me! I have no idea what to do, so I just continue to watch the movie over his shoulder. Finally, he got frustrated and quit. I laughed at him and went home completely turned off. Now, he is raping my cell phone and keeps asking when he’s going to see me again. Someone please explain what the hell just happened to me! hahaha Who seriously does THAT!?”

That — leg humpee — is pretty much an average night at American Trash.

So, is LateNightShots up and running in NY?

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “If Only There Were A Social Networking Site To Connect Republicans With Women Who Liked…

  1. Glanton

    Just fyi, that story was not by the Wonkette intern; it was just reposted by her from the message boards. The intern did not actually experience the vigorous leg-humping.

  2. marie

    I’d like to think that those rich WASPs are more at home in DC…you know that they exist in NYC, but not in the large numbers that one would find there.

    And certainly not as visible on the UES as they used to be.

  3. AD

    The LateNightShots website actually HAS an NYC channel that has been fully functional since at least this past winter.

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